Heroic Hogger - The Guide

Subject: Heroic Hogger - The Guide Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:20 am

So, you "killed" Hogger at level 8? WRONG! Hogger is an invincible titan with the power of a bucket! He is an unstoppable monstrosity that will one day have my babies!

Phase One

You're preparing for the big night. The night you face Hogger. You're buying some food and water. But it's too late! You took a step too close and Hogger's 40,000,000 aggro radius was triggered! Hogger is on his way. You've doomed the raid. You've doomed the world. You can see him running towards you, foam streaming from his mouth, ears, and nostrils. He is displeased. As you step backwards into the saftey of the raid you look before you. The 80 brave tanks ready to take on the challenge of a life time. Beside you stand 120 healers and to your left and right stand the army of 8801 dps. The over 9000 raid is not prepared. As Hogger enters range phase one ends, you are lucky to have made it this far.

Phase Two

The first tank steps up, risking his life to ward off his inevitable doom. The tank taunts, beginning the long rotation of the taunt cycle needed to reduce damage done by Hogger. Hogger hits the tank for 20,000. The next tank taunts off of him. 20 seconds into the fight Hogger casts Inevitable Hurt, an AoE spell with a whopping 80,000 yard range. Inevitable Hurt causes 10,000 damage every second for two seconds. So far everything is looking good. No one has died and the healers are straining on mana. The raid has been lucky. Finally, the goal of a lifetime: Hogger has fallen to 99%!

Phase Three

Hogger is at 99%. The DPS are doing great! .01 seconds into the fight Hogger targets the nearest shaman. He yells, "Shaman, you are frail and weak! Suffer my wrath!" The shaman screams in agony as he is teleported to Hello Kitty Adventure Island, never to be seen again. A voice is heard in the backgound. "FIRST BLOOD!" You have no idea where it came from, but you know what happens next. Hogger casts Finger of Hogger. For ten seconds, Hogger kills a mage every second, feasting upon their tears. Phase Four begins after Hogger as demolished 11 mages.

Phase Four

Hogger realizes how pathetic your raid is. Bored out of his mind he casts his bubble. His hands begin to glow bright green. HOGGER IS BUBBLE HEARTHING! 100 priests must cast mass dispel at the same time, dispeling Hogger's bubble. The hearth must be stopped by a falcon kick, but watch out, Hogger is a haste stacker and his hearthstone is a mere 1 second cast. Hogger's hearth is stopped, the raid can continue to attempt a Hogger raid. Hogger casts Inevitable Hurt every three seconds, and sends a shaman to Hello Kitty Adventure Island every ten seconds. If Hogger runs out of shamans he will pop out of your screen and use Finger of Hogger on you. Once Hogger reaches 97% he will begin Phase Five.

Phase Five

Hogger has entered Phase Five, in this stage he cannot be damaged or healed. He casts Inevitable Hurt every second and his damage enrages beyond the point of trying to live. The tanks must line up in single file order and sacrifice their selves. When Hogger has destroyed the 80 tanks he will begin to attack the dps. The dps must beat Hogger in a race. The must lower his health to 96% before he finishes killing the dps.

Phase Six

Hogger is at 96%. He is irritated by the pitiful raid before him. He brings forth a giant ball of green fire, consuming the zone in which he is in. Hogger, of course, lives the fiery explosion and drops his treasure out of pity. The entire server must search for the treasure, if they don't find it within one minute the server will crash into an never ending loop of Hogger using his famed Finger of Hogger on the nearest mage.